Walking In Your Shoes

This is the 100th post of this blog....months of musings and deconstructions inspired by the art and apparent ubiquity of one man. Fascinating, really.

I recently returned from my first physical exploit into the inner orbit of the music and the maker. Until now my experience has been as a collaborator, supporter and occasional adviser through more remote means. Now I have crossed a threshold into a world that both fascinates and enervates with a shockingly simultaneous force. I purport to know nothing....believe me. I am still bewilderingly naive. It is a world of remarkable and daunting complexity.

  

There's probably ten million things I could say about the experience, hours of stories to weave and countless ways to fabricate them together to captivate and enthrall. But perhaps the most salient part of my little adventure was a glimpse into the raw demand of artistry and fame. There is little glory at midnight, post-show, malingering about the craftworks table and deconstructing all the ways in which great performance expectations can go to shithouse because of inclement weather,  lofty altitude and myriad technical hiccups. But none of that is seen by the fans, the great 'professional' appreciators. It all looks like shimmer and dazzle from the stands. I can say now that the view from the stage is much more coarse and complicated.




Let's face it-it is relatively easy to exist in the minimally hazardous space of 'fandom.' Yes, it comes with a unique set of issues, but from a wider lens, said issues are generally easily resolved. From the perspective of an appreciator, the art seems effortless. Like a nimble dancer in motion, every move we witness seems as second nature to the performer. It seems to numb us to the reality of the inner work done by the artist to regale us with their apparent brilliance.
I have come to see through that wider lens, and in a tiny way through that which is the view of our favorite musical master. He belabors his craft, to share with us some aspect of his fundamental humanity. In return we laud him and place upon his all-too mortal and fragile shoulders the expectation that his music could perhaps deliver us from our pains, our trials, our stressors and banalities. Is it an inordinate expectation? I don't know, and I'll not assume to possess the wisdom to judge that. It is what it is, and I willingly own my role in that reality.

I am grateful to see the glory from its greyer shades, and to be privy to the numerous challenges heaped upon the process of touring one's trade across a giddy globe. I only tasted it for 48 fleeting hours and found myself spent and even a bit saddened, to be candid. I can see now in some desultory fashion how grueling the process can be, and how remarkably resilient the performer is in his willingness to soldier on in the name of music. That alone is powerful and poignant.

Now for a time I return to the space of a fan and supporter, and with fresh eyes and new considerations. I hope that my education is only beginning, I am an eager but self-aware pupil. I am green and wide-eyed and readying myself to explore these worlds with 'eyes wide open.'

There is more to be done, and another grueling yet appreciated agenda soon arriving, but I am confident that I can manage my existence within this space with greater love for the artist and my fellow fans. Sometimes we must witness the world through others' eyes so that we can better view with clarity through our own.

Perhaps, in some way, this is only a beginning to the story.....

~~~~Much love to you all and to my dear 'fremd'~~~~

c. Paige 2012