Giving it a Chance

Two of my favorite Making Mirrors songs are undoubtedly "Giving Me a Chance" and "Save Me." I'm sure there's plenty of reasons, beyond the apparent musical beauty, to find these songs compelling depending on which listener you talk to. For me, they represent a powerful, painful and joyous tension inherent to the most intimate relationship one can have with another person.
"Giving" speaks (in my entirely subjective evaluation...see the word 'value' in there) to a moment of reflecting upon one's vulnerable admission of imperfection to their beloved. It strips down flowery pretense and candidly clarifies the internalized guilt of getting "a little wrapped-up in myself" and the fearful awareness that very human mistake may lead one's love to "question what we have." Those are deeply salient to me; that sense that at times our lens narrows so much that when we reopen our awareness, we realize that the choices we have made lead to profound losses. This does not mean that our choices (or our 'self-ish-ness') was wrong or mistaken per se. What it does mean is that when we choose which roles we value as genuine for ourselves, we chance losing other roles which may have held profound power for us. Sometimes the losses are felt with regret, other times with a notion that what was lost had to be lost, for the sake of a true and authentic self. Either way, the wound ripped open by any loss comes with great pain and even doubt at times. Sometimes it seems that one must choose the moments when they give themselves a chance as much as when they ask to be given a chance by those they cherish.

The achingly lovely and celebratory "Save Me" returns, at first, to the narrative of being so "wrapped-up in myself" that one becomes detached and despondent. As it moves, the song lauds the patience and grace of the beloved in making space for that moment, and loving even in light of it.

I find great personal meaning in this song for several reasons. The core being that although it celebrates the concept that someone else can 'save' us, it places the all-too-relevant caveat that only can this be done when "you helped me help myself." As both a counselor and fundamentally as a human being, I believe powerfully in this as a truth-those in our lives who become our saviors are so because they showed us that we could save ourselves. I find that amazingly hopeful and beautiful. What comes with "saving me" is not to heap my burdens solely upon your shoulders, but to love me and support me with radical and resilient acceptance while I carry my load. That is the harder love to show-the one that chooses to support my power to change or repair rather than to usurp it. 

I suppose I could go on about how these (and many, many.....many) other songs speak truths for me in some way, but you likely neither need nor want to hear that. You have your own beautiful truths, and vehicles that express them. Instead, perhaps I'll end with this.....because sometimes you have to stop and see your life with 'eyes wide open'.

Thanks readers, nuts, audiophiles and fellow ephemeral beings ;)

Much love.


Paige